I Blog Again

Hello blog my old friend. I've come to write to you again.

Today, actually...this entire week I'm not doing anything that significant. I only processed my clearance from work. I am using my remaining vacation leaves until the first week of October.

For the past months, I felt really wasted due to pressure at work, issues at home, and challenges that tested our friendship at work and at home.

With regards to my work, I resigned. I was not able to meet their expectations. I bit more than I can chew. Silly me. Maybe, I was not prepared to face defeat, that's why I chose to leave instead. I am not really that decided to go, not until I felt that I have nowhere else to go but out. The thought that I needed to move my life forward after realizing that everybody are also moving forward added to my decision to leave. I must take significant change in my life, otherwise I would feel left out, sad, and even get depressed in the long run.

As with issues at home, my parents wanted me to settle back in the province. But can I just suddenly stop right now? Now that I am bracing for a full-speed on the highway called work? If I do, I will encounter inertia. And boy, it will be difficult. Part of me wanted to stay at home and spend quality time with my parents. But part of me thinks that in order to take good care of my parents, I must be able to provide their needs too. I need to be the dependable daughter to my parents and sister to my siblings.

Then came the friends issue both at work and at home. For friends at work, we became so close to each other that the thought of seeing one of us leave and work abroad is hard. It is all the more harder when I am one of those who will leave the group too. They've became somewhat like a family to me. They know me so well that they can tell how I am doing without me uttering a word. How will I be without them, my force to reckon with? ;(

For my friends back home, we haven't talked together for quite some time now. There's a lot of silence. No definite and long conversation made. But if I could only read bubble thoughts, I know that all of us are hurting. All of us miss each other but are resisting the urge to start talking. How sad can this be? Specially now that we need each other's words of encouragement...Especially now that all of us are going through a rough time... :(

For all that I have said, I am positively hoping that everything will work out fine, and maybe even better in time. All wounds heal. All we need is time.